As part of Kinship Care Week we’re celebrating the incredible role kinship carers like Robert* and his late wife, Sarah, play in the lives and futures of children and young people.

Robert, now in his 70’s, has been a kinship carer to his three grandsons, Ellis aged 25, Callum aged 20, and Alfie aged 15 for over a decade.

His daughter struggled with substance use and by the time Ellis was 14 and Callum was nine and their little brother, Alfie, was two, a crisis situation at home led to the children moving in with their grandparents temporarily.

The future was uncertain, and Robert and his wife Sarah were really worried the boys would be separated because Alfie had a different dad to his older brothers.

Alfie’s dad was not involved in his life, and this meant he might be taken into care while his brothers could end up in the custody of their dad.

Robert and Sarah were determined to keep the siblings together and keep them safe. They entered a difficult legal process and fought hard to ensure they would not be separated.

Eventually a kinship care order was granted to them and the judge ruled that keeping the boys with their grandparents was in their best interests.

Robert and Sarah had really difficult decisions to make. They loved their daughter and did all they could to help her but over time came to the tough realisation that recovery had to come from her.

The couple committed to putting the boys’ safety and wellbeing first.

Children First has supported the family at every stage of their journey over the years from one-to-one support for all three of the boys to peer support for Robert and Sarah and financial support when needed.

Therapeutic sessions for the boys, particularly for Callum, helped them to recover from the trauma they had experienced. Robert says, “It really saved Callum and the support all the boys had has been superb.”

After more than a decade in kinship care, the boys are thriving.

Ellis, now 25, is studying law at university. He has ADHD and has overcome many challenges, particularly after taking on a protective role for his brothers from a very young age. At just 16, he had to be legally consulted about their care.

He received support through Children First, who now provide the Kinship Care Advice Service for Scotland, when he struggled at university, including financial help. Today he is doing well academically, settled with his girlfriend and planning for the future.

Callum, 20, carried the emotional impact of those early years deeply. At the age of just nine, he was at the heart of the family’s crisis and expressed his distress through behaviour that was misunderstood at school. Children First played a crucial role in supporting him. He was tired of being questioned by professionals, but Children First worked with him in a relational, gentle way that helped him feel heard and understood. Callum is now an apprentice joiner, in a stable relationship and doing really well.

Alfie, 15, has shown remarkable resilience. He is sporty, sociable and doing well at school. He longed to know his father, but despite efforts to establish contact, it didn’t happen. He has accepted this and is focused on his own interests and friendships.

As a kinship carer, Robert reflects that his priorities differ from those he had as a parent. Then, he worried about achievements; now, he wants the boys to be happy and confident about their future and is delighted that they are.

He has benefited from regularly attending Children First’s kinship carer support group, offering peer support, space to talk openly and a chance to socialise.

Robert, now in his 70’s says: “I’d say to any kinship carer out there, take all the support that you can and build networks with other kinship carers. Children First’s help made such a difference to us and the work they do is really important.”

For Robert, the fact that he and his wife, were a strong team meant everything and still does.

Reflecting on Sarah’s death last year, Robert said: “She was the heart of the family – kind, beautiful inside and out and she was unwavering in her dedication to the boys. She was exceptional. We all miss her so much, but she has shaped the boys’ lives in such a positive way. We did what we set out to do when we took them into our care, we have kept them together and I’m so proud of them all.”

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the family.

Children First provide the Kinship Care Advice Service for Scotland on behalf of the Scottish Government, If you’re a kinship carer in need of support we can provide practical, emotional and financial support. Call our friendly team on 08000 28 22 33 today.